Saturday, February 24, 2007

Another 5th Grade Memory

I just got in from a nice night out drinking with my buddies, and I thought I'd check the blog before I hit the sack. Oh, and before any of you mother scratchers judge me, my wife and baby are out of town, so it's not like I've been out and about on the town, neglecting my family!!! I'm solo for another few days, so I'm having fun!!

Anyway, since we're on the subject of 5th grade memories, I thought I'd chime in. I remember Mrs. Allen and her music class. It was right outside the lunch room, and you could look out her windows into a courtyard that was between her building and the 7th grade building, and on the other side you could look out onto the 5th grade playground.

Do any of you remember Mrs. Lowe? I think that's how you spelled her name. Anyway, she substituted for Mrs. Allen from time to time, and she was a hoot. She seemed to be a little crazy in the head, and I'd swear her fingers were a foot long each...and bent like a boomerang. She'd point at you if you were acting up in class, but you could never really tell who she was pointing at because her long ass fingers were so crooked!!! Cracks me up just thinking about it!!! I remember singing "Jimmy Crack Corn," "The Erie Canal," and "Waltzing Matilda" in Mrs. Allen's room. Weston and I would always joke around and sing "Jimmy Crapped Corn" instead, and always got into trouble for it.

There was another substitute teacher we had in the 5th grade. I can't remember what her name was, but I want to say it was Mrs. Pigford. We had her in Mrs. Rhett's room one time, and for whatever reasons, she started lecturing us on hygiene. I could swear she talked for almost 45 minutes about using deodorant, and if you didn't have deodorant, you could use baking soda. One of the craziest lectures I think we ever got. I mean, think about it. We were in the 5th grade, for crying out loud. I don't think any of us were even using deodorant at that stage in our lives. I think we were just looking around at each other and thinking, "What in the hell is this woman talking about??" Literally....the woman would just ramble on, almost like she was just talking to herself...and it would be about washing your "privates" and using deodorant and crap like that. We were all completely baffled. I remember Weston and me about peeing in our pants we were laughing so hard, and she was completely serious....and had no idea that all of us were cracking up the entire time. Hell, she was about 90 years old, so she couldn't see or hear any of us. And she was our substitute teacher!!!! HILARIOUS!!!!

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